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 Rikuto Zakuro (陸人石榴 ) [Complete Forgery]

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DeceasedGentleman



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PostSubject: Rikuto Zakuro (陸人石榴 ) [Complete Forgery]   Fri Jul 05, 2013 11:15 am

Basics
Full Name: Rikuto Zakuro (陸人石榴 )
Meaning of Name: 'Land, People, and Pomegranates' or something like that...
*Nickname: Kuro (Meaning 'Black'), Crane (Bird Name in Carnival Corpse)
Sex: Male

Human Appearance
Age: 18
Eye Color: Grey
Hair Color: Blonde
Type of Build/Body: Stocky, but toned
Height: 6'0"
Weight: 1500 lbs (No Blood Loss)
Distinguishing Marks: He wears prescription sunglasses, tinted orange.

Traits
Skills: Rikuto is, right off the bat, an incredibly strong individual. He's stronger than he looks even, which is saying a lot, because he doesn't look weak in the slightest. His attacks are very capable to dealing a ton of damage right from the get go. However the first weakness he has is that he starts very slow.

His Branch of Sin, which he's proudly called Crane's Burden, is very much that, a burden. It's power is that even inside of him, his blood weighs more than the average blood. It started off innocently enough as just a little more, but then it just became more. Exponentially more in fact. Taking 15 mL for a sample weighs as much as a common cinderblock. Strangely though, his blood is no more dense than normal blood, nor does it take a toll to actually pump. While this has weighed him down for a long time, it has also helped him build up strength. As he loses blood, he gains a great deal of speed.

Also, his Branch of Sin, due to experimentation of all sorts, has developed a unique poison. It is applied topically, and doesn't actually require blood-to-blood contact. The effects are a mimicry of Lead Poisoning, and causes a build-up of Metal to clog the opponent's minuscule systems. This causes two major things to happen. Firstly, the victim will receive delayed reaction time due to clogging of iron in the synapses. Secondly, the victim will get a buildup of iron in their muscles, causing them harm as they attempt to move.

After 10 applications, the victim will suffer from the full effects of the poison, in which they will be left without any semblance of reaction time, taking minutes for a flinch reflex to take hold, and any muscle movement that they try will suddenly leave them with large lacerations. Because its a poison, this will happen anyways if the poison is left untreated for 3 days in character time. The cure? Common household dairy milk. There are no theories to how it actually gets fixed with milk, but it works.

Attitude/Personality: Rikuto would be the first guy to declare his attitude 'badass'. He screws the rules of Deadman Wonderland, almost as often as he claims to screw bitches. Especially the 'unwritten ones' where some punks think they're hot shit and have special rights because of it. Getting to know him though, you may as well be getting to know a rock. What he does during his free time, is literally waste it, by sitting around doing nothing. He's quite the recluse when he's not off causing riots.

Due to his Branch of Sin, he is very heavy and has a lot of weight to throw around. He loves to do this. Rikuto's favorite method of intimidation is to break walls with but a solid tap with his open palm, due to the amount of weight he carries. In a direct confrontation, his immediate action in most situations is to charge in recklessly, as he doesn't mind losing some blood in transit. There are only a couple of exceptions, like when there is actually information given that it would be a bad idea to attack in that manner.

Images For character:

Background
History: Rikuto was born in reconstructed Nagasaki a good time after the Red Hole, and it is said that he was once a relatively normal japanese citizen. How he ended up in that hell hole that he used to call entertainment, was simply really good framing. Rikuto was on vacation in America with his family when he was about 16. Everything was looking good, except that someone who looked nigh identical to him, managed to pick the perfect time to attempt to assassinated a Congressman who was visiting at the time. Rikuto was framed for it, and due to issues of corruption in the system, he was given a life sentence with practically no trial.

Arriving, of course, he was always referred to as 'that guy who tried to fuck the system', and because of it, he was picked on, beaten, and stolen from nigh daily. This personal hell came free with several round trips to the infirmary every week. Hell, the only person that didn't try to kill him was the Doctor lady who treated his injuries. It had gotten to the point where they became 'familiar' with each other for what it was worth. The nice lady one day saw his injuries getting more severe, and thought it a grand idea to give him a chance to get stronger. Of course, when the idea was posed it sounded like a physical training program.

He practically threw himself at the program, hoping it would change his life. Rikuto went off the radar for a couple of months after that. The whole of Deadman Wonderland assumed him dead. Rikuto was almost driven to thinking as much too when the Doctor was experimenting on him with special strands of the Nameless Worm and electro-chemicals. He kept with the experiments in mere hopes that when he was released, he could get revenge against all the people who screwed him over.

After a few months, he lost track of time, he returned to walking amongst the prisoners once more. This freedom didn't last long, as he was practically immediately granted nigh every opportunity for revenge, and by that, of course, I mean he was surrounded by people he could so easily kill. A slaughter, two hours long, was the pent up revenge against people who had picked on him, consisting of prisoners and guards alike. After this though, he was locked away in G-block, for the safety of other prisoners. He spent a year there building a name for himself, puffing up his chest a bit so he could survive.
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Kyojin

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PostSubject: Re: Rikuto Zakuro (陸人石榴 ) [Complete Forgery]   Fri Jul 05, 2013 5:06 pm

Ok first of all welcome to EFDW second I like this its very well detailed and explained any if all faults within the character application I like that thirdly I'm not real sure how he would have blood that weighs more then that of a regular Deadman whether he was born with a disease that causes it or it dues to experiments etc. Also didn't have anough time to read the history so if its explained within it or if i've looked over it im sorry
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DeceasedGentleman



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PostSubject: Re: Rikuto Zakuro (陸人石榴 ) [Complete Forgery]   Fri Jul 05, 2013 6:54 pm

Ah, well you see, his blood weighs so much because that is the form that his Branch of Sin takes. He was given the branch of sin through infection with the nameless worm and it developed into a unique branch of sin, which takes the form of incredibly weighted blood that is no denser than a normal person's blood, instead of, say, explosive blood, or the ability to form scythes.
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Kirie

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PostSubject: Re: Rikuto Zakuro (陸人石榴 ) [Complete Forgery]   Fri Jul 05, 2013 8:52 pm

The problem with blood that weighs as much as his does is that it would be crushing on his bones his organs, his heart it would make it impossible for him to breath let alone move. In theory it's in interesting idea but considering that weighs over half a ton. A Ton is 2,000 pounds his blood your saying weighs 1,500 pounds weighing him down. Now Branch of Sin or not the human body can not withstand that much metric force per square inch without being crushed under it's own weight.

His history is fine, his reasoning for revenge not all that unusual. Lead poisoning not bad.

But here is where I become a pain in the ass. Sorry, as it stands the character would not last if his blood weighed that much any movement at all would put strain on his heart, on his body on everything, blood loos would indeed allow him to move quicker but he has in the end the same amount as any other normal person so as he looses it yes he becomes lighter but at the same token he has a short window to get the job done or he's dead....and loosing that much weight that fast as his blood runs out of his body would make him light headed and dizzy, because that weight would be coming off of all his organs, including the major ones, the heart, lungs and brain. The Burden is more then a Burden it is an end of character shortly after game start.

The idea behind the 'weight' of it isn't bad at all the problem is the application. A Branch of Sin that weighs down the user would be the end of the user, if you've watched 'Bleach' and Seen Kira you'll have an idea of what it is I'm going to try suggesting here instead. Instead of his blood weighing over half a ton, which would destroy him his own branch of sin or not, if you think of a way to devise it so that a drop of blood contacting something else increases the weight of which is hits would be more along the lines of what the Branch does.

As to Everything else have to wait for Murasaki to take a look and see what she thinks.

But as it stands now.....I need that adjusted or worked with.....blood that weighs over half a ton in the human body....The Namelss Worm allows them to use there blood as a weapon against another, but that much weight would crush organs the inside of the body even if it is the 'shell' that holds it is not able to withstand the effects of the blood if it's turned against it. It would kill him.

Overall the rest isn't bad, and fits just fine but that aspect of it......I need worked on before I can say ya or nay.
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PostSubject: Re: Rikuto Zakuro (陸人石榴 ) [Complete Forgery]   Fri Jul 05, 2013 10:44 pm

My big issue is that a poison of that level being able to effect the miniscule system and cause damage to the muscles i dont want the initial abilities to be changed but i do beleive that it should be administered through the bloodstream because just making blood to skin contact ab=nd it being able to have those effects on the human body sounds a bit over powered however if Kirie or Murasaki say they think its fine i'll overlook it
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PostSubject: Re: Rikuto Zakuro (陸人石榴 ) [Complete Forgery]   Fri Jul 05, 2013 11:47 pm

Since everyone is jumping in ahead of me, I agree on the issue of the weighted blood. It would crush your character from the inside. The debate isn't if he could survive it, or if he would be immune to it, it's a matter of how long it would take to kill him. He would indeed be crushed by the weight, so something else needs to be come up with. I mean, the idea is nice in theory, but in practice...it would only hurt your character.

The internal organ system is too weak to handle weighted blood, so it would have to happen to it outside of his body. Perhaps an effect of it being oxidized by the air?

As for the poison, I don't mind it being there. However, if you're going to have a poison, it wouldn't take effect so quickly. Lead Poisoning takes days, to weeks to take effect because the skin has to absorb it into the blood stream. It would be easier if it took effect a different way. But so far, that's my only problems. Everything else seems perfectly fine ^-^

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DeceasedGentleman



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PostSubject: Re: Rikuto Zakuro (陸人石榴 ) [Complete Forgery]   Mon Jul 08, 2013 3:38 am

Wow! Record timing for a first day bombardment of declination.

It's cool though, I can always think of more BoS. If I made it any other way, I'd have to rework some other things too. Some of his personality, a couple paragraphs of ability, a few aspects of his appearance, a new picture.  Just give me a while and I'll pump out a new character.
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PostSubject: Re: Rikuto Zakuro (陸人石榴 ) [Complete Forgery]   Mon Jul 08, 2013 5:19 pm

It'd be easier to change just a few things instead of just completely scrapping the idea. We all like the idea, it's just a matter of real world possibilities when involving human anatomy. I don't think it's as difficult as you make it out to be, but if you really want a new character, you'll have to have this one removed.

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